The road to Hell is paved with assholes

I look nothing like an Ape

I look nothing like a Human

House of Gog

Young people today

From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lard . Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths. (2 Kings 2:23-24)

In those days there were a lot of trees and bears about around bethel.

Happy meal?

Deuteronomy 28:53
"And thou shalt eat of the fruit of thine own body, that of thy sons and of thy daughers, which the Lard thy Gog hath given thee."

I had a bad day at work and the kids were really pissing me off.

Gog gets it right eventually

Man to Gog: "Gog, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
Gog to Man: "So you would love her."
"But Gog", Man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
Gog replies: "So she would love you."

Gog created man before creating woman, because you need a rough draft before
creating a masterpiece.

Diamonds are a girl's best friends.
Dogs are man's best friend.
So which is the dumber sex?

Single women complain that all good men are married, while all married women
complain about their lousy husbands. This confirms that there is no such
thing as a good man.

Ever notice how many of women's problems can be traced to the male gender?
MENstruation
MENopause
MENtal breakdown
GUYnecology
HIMmorrhoids

What's the difference between government bonds and men?
Bonds mature.

What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.

How are men like noodles?
They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.

Why do men like BMWs?
They can spell it.

What do an anniversary and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them.

Why are men like popcorn?
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Why are men like blenders?
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Why do so many women fake orgasm?
Because so many men fake foreplay.

Why would women be better off if men treated them like cars?
At least then they would get a little attention every 6 months or 10,000
miles, whichever came first.

What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.